No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
