I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
