Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
