I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
