I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize