ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
