Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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