oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
