I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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