If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
