Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hippo gnu deer
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
