so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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