I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
