those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
