so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
