I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
