i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize