Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
