? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
