we have pet lesbian snakes
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
