I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she looked like the before picture.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
