So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize