Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
