I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
two words: eviction party
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
