Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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