I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
