Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
