Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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