I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
