Can Purell be used as lube?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
