no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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