Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
