The maid of honor just puked.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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