If i come over, it means nothing
We got so high we made milksteak
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
