We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
