and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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