just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize