They should really pass out barf bags in church
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
