I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize