I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
