oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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