i need an iv and a liver transplant
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
