Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
