Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
