Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
