Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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