Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
