I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize