Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
