Already got asked if we're dating
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think my moral compass just broke
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
