hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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