The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
