They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
