So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
