We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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