That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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