Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
