the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
