Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
