I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
