tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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