My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
