apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
