It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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