we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize