No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
